Desire: Hibernation. Need: Connection.
Collaborative Journaling returns to entice you out of your solitude and into community with other sensitive souls.
There’s nothing I want more as a sensitive person at this moment in time than to curl up in a ball under my blankets and be left alone. It’s also the last thing I’m letting myself do.
I’m guessing you’re probably feeling the weight of the world, too.
It’s surreal to hear stories of lives and institutions disrupted, and then have to go to work, take out the dog, give your child a bath. You can feel the fear, the outrage, the mistrust of people around you, and it hurts. What’s worse, you feel people’s indifference, distraction, or even ongoing support of the current regime.
It’s all too much. Let’s pull up the covers and hibernate, shall we?
What I Really Need is Connection
As much as a part of me wants to disengage and hide, other parts of me are longing to feel connected to kindred spirits.
I want to have deep conversations with friends about how they’re faring. I want to be reassured by my peeps that we are in this together, that I’m not the only one feeling the way I do. I need to listen to a community organizer talk passionately about what steps we can take and how we’re stronger together.
We are stronger together. Even when people feel overwhelming.
The Purpose of Sensitivity
Our sensitivity was never meant to make us hide away from the world. Sensitive people are gifted at picking up on patterns, unspoken truths, and the implications of the past and present for the future. We deeply empathize with others, so we’re likely to speak up against injustice and suffering. We know what others need in order to feel included.
These are important roles to play in society. Arguably, they’re more needed than ever now, when the powerful and corrupt seem bent on destroying all that is decent and kind.
It’s just so hard to stand up to that onslaught if we don’t have others around us to share the weight, lend us strength, boost our spirits. In community, we rise as a whole, even if each of us individually needs a moment to tend to ourselves. It’s the difference in strength between a single thread and a rope tightly woven of hundreds of strands.
Why We Lean toward Isolation, Not Connection
I’ll be the first to say that, even now, even knowing that I’m stronger in community, I sometimes want to isolate. I’m sensitive, I’m highly introverted, and I wasn’t raised to appreciate the importance of interconnectedness in times of stress or crisis. My defensive hyperindepence can kick in without me being aware of it.
Fortunately, I’ve done a lot to build relationships and become part of communities that help me stay connected. They appreciate that each of us needs solitude, but we need to return to the whole, too. And there are people who, shall we say, call me out on my BS when I start to withdraw. Solitude is welcome; ghosting is not.
So many of us who were raised in mainstream American culture can struggle with interconnectedness. Beyond system factors, things like sensitivity, introversion, and life circumstances like being disconnected from family, overwhelmed with caregiving, and under financial stress create a recipe for isolation.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Even if you’ve never been “good” at relationships or being part of a community, you have a chance to learn now. People like us are hungry for connection.
We just need to let others know that we’re ready to take a chance on relationships, on community, on feeling our shared strength.
Practicing Connection with Collaborative Journaling
I want to make it easier for you to do stretch into greater connection. I hope you’ll join me in a another collaborative journaling (CJ) exchange. It’s a fairly simple form of asynchronous connection. You’ll send me a journal response to the prompt I share below. I’ll send back an affirming reflection and some additional prompts you might want to explore.
Based on the feedback from the last time I offered CJ, I’ve made a couple tweaks. This time, you’ll have a full week to share your response with me. I hope that having more time makes this process more accessible. I’m also going to limit the prompt to one set of questions organized around a theme, rather than giving you lots of choices (because too many choices can be a barrier to getting started, at least for me).
And, I want to explicitly say: you don’t have to respond to every question within the prompt. CJ is not an essay test! Just respond to parts that appeal to you and leave the rest. My intention is to give you a few questions to get you thinking, not to make this a long or complicated process.
I loved connecting with some of you through the first round of CJ! The meaningful interactions that I had with those who participated exceeded my wildest dreams. I felt much closer to the people who so bravely shared their journals—they became “real” to me, not just abstract readers out in the wild. And I was touched by the heartfelt, raw, deeply introspective and challenging writing that people chose to share with me.
Sensitive people—you rock my world!
As much as I felt like I received so much from offering CJ last time, the participants told me that the feeling was mutual. As one participant wrote:
“Reading Lori's comments was wonderful and very insightful, and she gave me so many good ideas to further explore. Being witnessed in this way felt so good! I love this experience and I really appreciate the time and care that Lori took to write a response. This is a great collaboration.”
How You Can Join Me
Please keep in mind these points if you choose to join me in collaborative journaling:
· There’s no right or wrong way to respond. If you don’t want to write, feel free to send me a photo or recording of other mediums of expression. The sky’s the limit.
· CJ is meant to be an interpersonal exchange of ideas—think journaling pen pals. It isn’t therapy, coaching, a class, a medical intervention, or a prescription. You should contact the appropriate professionals in your life if you need those kinds of support.
· Trust your intuition about whether to participate and how. I trust you to be responsible for your reactions and your needs. If this process brings up distressing memories or emotions, seek professional help in your community and/or use the 988 Crisis Line (in the U.S.A.) for support.
Collaborative Journaling Instructions:
1. Journal about any/all of these questions:
What does a good/healthy community look like to you (if you haven’t experienced one before, how do you imagine it would look)? What qualities does it have? What does it allow you to do, and who does it allow you to be or become? How do you maintain healthy relationships within a community? What do you have to give to a community? How do you and the other community members take care of each other and the whole group?
2. Paste your typed text in the body of an email or attach a photo/video of your responses. Email your response to me: journaling[at]singularlysensitive[dot]com (journaling@singularlysensitive.com).
3. Please send your response no later than 11 PM Eastern on Tuesday, February 25th.
4. Technical issues can happen, and I’m human. I will make every attempt to email you my response within 24 hours. If it’s been more than 48 hours and you haven’t gotten a response from me, please check in with me so I don’t inadvertently miss your response.
Please Accept My Invitation to Be Part of the Singularly Sensitive Community
I’ve never wanted Singularly Sensitive to be just a theoretical approach or a newsletter. It’s a way of being—a commitment to individual growth, surrounded by support from other sensitive, idealistic, introspective people. My hope is that you’ll show up just as you are and share your unique gifts with us.
I also know that most of us don’t want to just vaguely “show up” without something concrete to do or knowing what our presence entails. Personally, it sends my anxiety through the roof when I don’t know how to plug into a group. I don’t want that to happen to you, so here are two ways to be part of the Singularly Sensitive community.
I’ll be sharing CJ prompts during the third week of each month, so if the timing is off or the topic doesn’t resonate with you, watch for upcoming opportunities. It might be a nice way to test the waters with me if you’re not quite sure about me or this space.
Additionally, I host an online Soundings Circle group on the first Wednesday of each month. We gather to pause from daily life, write, reflect, support one another, and envision how to be Singularly Sensitive in our everyday lives. The theme for March is spring, and you can still sign up HERE.
Both CJ and Soundings Circles are free to help make them accessible to anyone who might appreciate them. Please feel free to share them with people who might be a good fit!
I’m continually astounded by how much I receive from this community of kind, gentle, passionate people. How could I keep that a secret from you? We want you to join us! Let’s be strength to each other and see what a difference we can make in the world.
In solidarity,
Lori
"What if our sensitivity is not a burden, but a gift?" This perspective challenges us to reframe our understanding of our own sensitivities.
Instead of viewing our sensitivity as a weakness that makes us vulnerable to the world's pain, we can see it as a strength that allows us to empathize with others and make a positive difference in the world. Our sensitivity can be a source of compassion, creativity, and insight.
Lori, you put into words something so many of us feel—the pull toward solitude when the world becomes too much, and the quiet knowing that connection is what we truly need. Sensitivity isn’t a flaw, and it isn’t a burden. It’s an awareness, a depth of perception that sees what others overlook.
I appreciate the way you hold space for both—acknowledging the need for retreat while offering a path back to community. Not through obligation, yet through choice. Through knowing that being seen, being understood, is what allows us to keep showing up.