Time for Resolutions? Time for Change.

As a planner, I'm begging you to stop.

Embrace the cozy, skip the resolutions!

As December wanes, it is time for me to perform my yearly ritual of imploring anyone who will listen to skip New Year’s resolutions.

Am I up on this soapbox for you? Then let me be very explicit: Do not set New Year’s resolutions. Spare yourself.

I’ll admit that not setting resolutions goes against the grain for me. I’m a consummate planner. I love to set goals, operationalize how to reach them, track my progress, evaluate the outcomes. It’s fun for me. I’m good at it. I’m good at helping other people with goals and planning.

I’ve even volunteered to sit on the strategic planning committee for every organization I’ve worked at and for two volunteer boards I served on. Yep, I’m that kind of planner.

But I ditched resolutions back in my early twenties, and I’ve never looked back. And I want you to do the same.

Resolutions Are The Wrong Approach, Especially for Sensitive People

Most people who set resolutions are not going to achieve them. Too often, resolutions are born out of shame, a sense of inferiority, and a desire to conform with societal standards that might not align with our own values. Or they come out of the endless ruminations about what life would be like if something changed. In either case, this is hardly a recipe for success.

Sensitive people are prone to the kind of thinking and feeling that can make goal setting feel like an appealing way out of the depths. I know that’s the case for me. But when we’re caught in strong emotions or twisted in our minds, we’re not able to get the observer distance we need to effectively make plans for ourselves.

And New Year’s Eve is No Time for Beginnings

Despite what the calendar, January is the wrong time for beginnings. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, the dark and cold hang over us. My Southern Hemisphere friends are in the heat of summer. Nature knows that neither of these seasons is the time for initiating new growth.

And our collective energy is ragged after the December holidays. No matter what you celebrate, or if you bypass observances altogether, it is impossible as sensitive people to escape the generally heightened vibe and emotional dysregulation of this time of year. Trying to set resolutions in this climate is the equivalent of trying to keep a piece of paper still in the middle of a windstorm.

Alternatives to Resolutions

I firmly believe that “I didn’t set any resolutions” is a full sentence. But if you (I) still feel pulled to engage in some light planning for the coming year, what are some alternatives to resolutions? You might try:

1. Taking a Seasonal Approach

My sense is that more and more people are recognizing and aligning with the wisdom of the natural world. For those of us in winter, we might reflect on the seeds we have already planted and how we are allowing the landscape of our lives to rest, fallow, until the spring. For people in summer, you might consider how you continue to nurture what is already growing, knowing that harvest season is still months in the future.

In neither case does tilling the land and spreading fresh seeds align with the seasons of growth and rest that nature observes. Take your cues from the natural world that so many of us sensitive people are drawn to and remind yourself that there will soon be a season in which to start anew.

2. Choosing a Word of the Year

I’ve come to enjoy the process of choosing a word for the year ahead. Actually, I don’t pressure myself to choose it for the whole year, but for however long it suits me. That’s reduces some of the pressure to find just the right word.

Some years, it takes me most of December (or into January) before a something coalesces for me. I tap into my intuition, look for signs and synchronicities, and allow the word or phrase to emerge. This fall, my word became clear before I’d really begun to wonder what it might be. And what is it?

Forward.

If you’re not finding your word easily this year, stop looking. Seriously. Don’t get bogged down in thinking about your word, trying to find just the right one, or feeling into how it might suit you months from now. Let your subconscious mind, your body, and your spirit work on the puzzle without your conscious attention. You’ll probably find that the word emerges for you in due time.

3. Picking a Color, Sound, or Sensation for the Year

This is a nonverbal alternative to selecting a word for the year. Much like Pantone picks a color of the year, you can pick a non-language focal point for yourself, too. You might enjoy the way that this allows your creative self to participate more in planning for the future.

Perhaps you want to experience more ease or comfort in your body. Or you’re drawn to the sound of bells. Or you’ve taken a photo or created a vision board to move you into the next year. Whatever appeals to you, in whatever medium, is likely to be a far more meaningful source of inspiration than a pat resolution chosen for the sake of saying you have one.

The Singularly Sensitive Approach to the New Year

Perhaps I’ve convinced you to forego resolutions this year; perhaps you’re not ready to make that change. In either case, I hope you will maintain a gentle, compassionate spirit toward yourself. Change is messy. Waiting is hard. Discerning our path forward is often draining.

Embrace the messiness. Be kind to yourself.

And find some like-minded people to walk with you through the fallow season that inevitably precedes growth and change.


If you’re looking for that kind of community, please join me for my next Soundings Circle on January 8, 2025. It’s a chance for you to connect with other sensitive, idealistic people who are wrestling with what change could look like and how to do it sustainably. You can find the details HERE.

Wishing you well for 2025!