5 G Updates to Singularly Sensitive that Have Nothing to Do with Cell Phones

Five micro articles, from my scattered mind to your eyes

I started and scrapped nearly a dozen articles before finishing this one. That’s not my typical process on Substack. I usually have one or two clear ideas about how I want to show up in this space. Then I let my intuition lead me in a particular direction.

This week, my intuition has been like my dog playing in the leaves—darting from place to place and sniffing around endlessly to find the best one from so many great choices.

Wickett prefers to survey the pile from a bit of curb that’s poking through the storm-downed leaves, since the pile came up past his belly. Let size be no obstacle to leaving no leaf unturned!

I fought my own impulse to run from idea to idea. I really did. Over and over, I tried to settle myself down to write “just one” article. But as my dog tells me (nonverbally) when I suggest it’s time to get out of the leaf pile: it’s not happening.

Instead, I’m leaning into it. I’m sharing five micro articles that are a product of this season and my own scattered mind. They were inspired by my spontaneous response to someone asking me how I’m doing: grouchy, grumpy, GAH.

And, because I’m like my dog and can’t leave well enough alone, I added a couple more G’s: giving and grateful. Maybe this all came together into a single, coherent article after all? I’ll leave you to decide.

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Grouchy

I’ve noticed that there seems to be a higher level of irritability, frustration, anger, and rage this week…and not just when I look in the mirror.

If you’re right there with me, find a way to move your body. It will help you release the stress that often keeps us grouchy.

Let your movement match what your body is asking for at that moment. You might feel drawn to slow, expansive movements that help your body and your breath open. Yoga, tai chi, qigong, and basic stretching all fit the bill.

Or try vigorous movements that get your heart pounding may feel better to you because they can help burn stress and give you a strong shot of endorphins. And it doesn’t have to be exercise. For me, any chore that involves scrubbing helps because it’s active, repetitive, and I can really see the results of my efforts.

As for punching a pillow to cathartically release your anger? Research shows that it can make you feel worse. I’ll leave you to Google that, because I’m not interested in going on that tangent at the moment.

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Grieving

Some of the grouchiness I’m seeing is probably linked to the grief that so many of us are feeling in the wake of the election. If you, like me, are dealing with other losses as well, you may feel like you’re on grief overload. Grieving is especially hard at a time of the year where joyful celebrations with people you love are “supposed” to be the focal point.

Grief is so individualized and slippery—it shifts and slips, emerging both at expected and surprising moments. Consider whether there are ways that you can create rituals to help you externalize your inner experience. I find that my best experiences rituals are the ones that would not make sense for anyone other than me and maybe the other people that are involved. For instance, I don’t personally find it helps me to take flowers to the cemeteries where my parents are buried (but if that ritual suits you do it). I get more from creating a ritual of making their recipes or sitting in the natural spaces they treasured.

Why do I like rituals? They help us care for and validate ourselves. At the same time, if we choose to invite others to join us in the ritual, we may get a sense of connection that we badly need in the face of a loss. Plus, coming up with a ritual and carrying it out gives us something to do besides feeling lost in our grief.

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GAH!

Does anyone else give an exasperated “GAH!” when they feel overstimulated and overwhelmed? Or do you have a different pet guttural for those moments that I know you have, too?

Well, in any case, if you happen to hear me GAH-ing around, it’s a sure sign that I’ve lost the thread of what I need to focus on, how to prioritize, and how to set limits so that I can settle myself down and feel some acceptance of my life, if not embrace its demands.

After many years of practice, I’ve learned to recognize the early signs that I’m heading into GAH territory. Alas, despite all those assurances from my high school music teacher, practice does not make perfect! Or at least it hasn’t yet.

Although I’ve been monitoring myself since the election and trying to keep a healthy distance from overwhelm, it caught up to me this week in the form of a week of evening commitments (why do schools plan ALL the events in one week???). Yes, I could have declined some of the events, but the more values-aligned action was to be present for my child. And values-aligned actions are not necessarily easy, even though they are congruent with what we believe and who we desire to be.

Like so many introverted, sensitive people, I absolutely need a considerable amount of downtime to process the day’s events, recharge, and feel rested. Otherwise, the GAH takes over and it becomes even harder to unwind.

That’s where I’m at today, with one more booked evening before the schedule eases. I’m bringing extra intentionality to how I move myself out of GAH this weekend and back into a land where I feel busy but not frantic. I’ll be seeking out quiet, time in nature, solitude. I’m craving the ability to move spontaneously through my days, so I’m making very few commitments to be at a certain place at a certain time.

And Monday, I’m starting my work week with a look at how to set reasonable expectations for how much (little) I will be able to accomplish before the end of the year. Having a clear sense of my plans and priorities is always a comfort to me, as I know it can be to other sensitive people.

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Giving

There is such a need for us to connect as sensitive, creative, idealistic, passionate people. It really fills me—my emotions, energy, and spirit—in a way that I don’t get from other communities where our uniqueness stands out. One of my priorities for this year is to create an opportunity for this kind of connection by offering another Soundings Circle.

Our inaugural circle earlier this month was an incredibly powerful time. We focused on committing to hopeful action. We reflected and wrote, gave and received support, and shared a guided imagery experience. I left feeling encouraged and energized, which isn’t necessarily how I experience hosting in other contexts.

My gift to you and to myself is to offer the next Soundings Circle on Wednesday, December 4, 2024, from 7-8 PM Eastern on Zoom. I’ve worked out my technical shortcomings, so we’ll be able to see and hear each other this time in addition to using the chat. But you can also turn off your camera if that feels better for you. My goal is to provide options to make the space welcoming for all.

Our topic for the December circle, pulled from my book Wander and Delve, will be committing to self-compassion. For many of us, this is a season where we compare ourselves far too harshly to other people and to the (often ridiculously high) standards we set for ourselves. This judgmental stance can show up personally, academically, and professionally.

In the circle, I’m inviting each of us to consider how to develop a more self-compassionate stance. After all, we’re great at empathizing with others. We’ll use a mix of sharing, writing, and guided imagery to figure out how to shine that empathy inward.

You can register HERE for the Soundings Circle. And feel free to invite the people in your life who would be a good fit for this space. If you can’t make it at that time, please register anyway. Afterwards, I’ll send you the writing prompts and a recording of the guided imagery. Just like last time, I will protect the sanctity of our space and the confidentiality of the participants by not recording the rest of the gathering.

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Grateful

Finally, a note about gratitude seems appropriate at this time as someone based in the U.S.A. There’s skads of research on the many benefits of gratitude for our mental, physical, and relational health (which I’m also not going to dive into here). Suffice it to say: gratitude is good for us.

The problem? When I’m really grouchy and grieving, or depressed, anxious, out of sorts with people, or down on myself, the LAST thing I want to do is to write a list of people and things I’m grateful for having in my life. It seems like it takes so much energy to pull myself out of my misery long enough to do it.

My workaround? I start by telling someone else why I’m grateful for them. It could be because I’m an 18^th century epistoler at heart, but I love writing letters. Or texts and emails; I don’t allow the medium to hijack the message. So, I’ll write a message to someone. I try to find something specific and recent: grateful to my neighbor for bringing over a misdelivered package; grateful to my friend for a book she recommended; grateful to one of my kiddo’s teachers for giving him some extra attention. Expressing gratitude to someone else inevitably starts to pull me out of my funk (at least enough that I can start to do other things to help myself).

There are a few reasons why I prefer to deliver my thanks in writing. For one thing, I don’t like being on the phone. If I’m already struggling to connect to my gratitude, I can guarantee I’m not going to pick up the phone at that time. And for another, I sometimes feel awkward speaking my gratitude aloud, especially if the person quickly dismisses me with an “it was nothing!” (For an experiment: if someone gives you a compliment or expresses gratitude to you, respond with “thank you” and simply allow each of you to savor the moment.)

But mostly, I like to write out my gratitude so that I can give people something tangible (or at least digital). Something that they can come back to that’s more than just the memory of a conversation. I’ve loved when people have written me a note of thanks. I always save them and look at them when I need a reminder that I’m having a positive impact on people. I want to give others that gift, too.

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And this 5G update?

It’s also my note of gratitude to you, my fair readers. I didn’t know what to expect when I made the move from Substack reader to Substack publisher six months ago. I just knew that I was looking for kindred spirits—other sensitive, idealistic, creative souls who are trying to be better humans and do everything possible to make their little corner of the world a better place. That’s my vision for Singularly Sensitive.

I’m so grateful that I’ve found you!

From my first post where I outed myself as a dabbler despite the professional pressure to be an expert, to today when I can look forward to seeing familiar names in my notifications, I’ve had the true pleasure of discovering so many other people who don’t fit neatly into one box, but who are neat people. You’re the kind of generous, passionate, talented, dedicated individuals who make life better for those around you. Including me.

You inspire me, make me laugh, and move me to tears (the good kind). You encourage me to share more transparently, push me to reflect in fresh ways, and give me the energy to keep going.

YOU are what makes me eager to check my Substack in a way that I’ve never felt on other writing platforms (and certainly not on traditional social media).

Thank you for being exactly who each of you are. Together, we are a sensitive revolution. Whatever the coming months and years bring, I’m grateful you’ve joined me in answering the call.