Being Sensitive in the Shadow of Political Violence

Or, Why the World Needs Big-Hearted Idealists to Step Up and Make a Difference

Psychologists are trained to take a neutral stance. That’s always been hard for me since I’m naturally opinionated, so I’ve gravitated toward theories and approaches that also acknowledge the importance of context in understanding people and communities. But the longer I practice, the less neutral I am in the therapy room.

This Substack isn’t therapy, and even if you’re one of my therapy clients who happens to be a reader, this isn’t a therapeutic communication (you can choose to stop reading, if you'd like).

I write these essays as education; entertainment; resource sharing; a way to support and care for kindred spirits; a service to those I might not otherwise be able to reach; and, quite frankly, because I like to write.

I can’t do the dance of neutrality anymore.

My heart is breaking at the state of U.S. politics and culture. As a lifelong progressive, this is not a new experience. I have certainly felt the weight of it more and more since 2016. I thought I couldn't possibly feel worse than I did on January 6th and in the aftermath of the attempted coup.

Then this weekend happened. And not only was it appalling to watch my country once again be marred by political violence, it was also gut-wrenching to see it unfold practically in my backyard.

I live 20 miles from where the attempted assassination took place. I’ve been to those fairgrounds. I’ve spent time in the shooter’s hometown. These are the communities that my local clients come from and where my colleagues live and work.

It’s a reminder that political violence can happen everywhere, even in little Pennsylvania towns. None of us are immune. The worst is not behind us yet.

The attempted assassination and the varying responses to it offer proof of how deeply unwell our society has grown. The escalating verbal, economic, and physical violence is out of hand. It cannot continue to go unchecked.

I can’t in good conscience stay silent or neutral. And I don't want you to do so, either.

We need true leaders to stand up and speak up for safe, egalitarian institutions and communities based on mutual respect, care, and a commitment to interdependence.

Cynically, I don’t think those leaders are going to be found in the halls of government, although I’m deeply inspired by what many community activists and organizations are doing. I know many of those leaders are sensitive people, and I admire their commitment and vision.

Violence is never the answer.

I am a lifelong pacifist. It’s a stance that motivated me to sit in, protest, write letters, organize, and call people to action. It’s complicated. I don’t pretend to have all the answers. Or even some of them. I’m not going to argue policy with anyone right now.

However, I want you to know this about me: I am deeply, intuitively convinced that violence begets violence and hate begets hate.

Yes, both sides should pay attention to the “temperature” of their rhetoric, but accountability and responsibility are not heated postures. In fact, taking ownership of our behavior, words, and impact is fundamental to sustaining a civil society.

Are you willing to use your sensitivity and your ideals to make a difference?

If we are going to lift our country out of this chasm, we will need more sensitive, idealistic, progressive people to step up to the task.

Indeed, I believe that sensitive people are uniquely equipped to do this work because we are HSPs. We have the ability to hold the complexities of modern life and commit to healthy emotions, relationships, and communities.

I hope that each of us is doing something to act according to our principles. Values-congruent action is the single best thing I’ve seen for sensitive people who are struggling with the state of the world around them.

Self-care may feel good for an hour or a night, but acting in alignment with our values builds lasting relief.

Here are three tips for getting through this without burning out:

Start small, with what is right in front of you and within your direct influence.

You don’t need to run for office, author an op-ed for a national media outlet, or start a national movement (although I’d cheer you on if you did). My years of engagement with social activism have convinced me of the power of thinking globally and acting locally. I hope one day to also learn patience with the pace of change.

Be intentional about media and the news.

Reflect on how you much media you’re consuming, what sorts and sources of information are part of your repertoire, and when you need to take breaks to avoid information (and emotion) overload. Remember that each exposure to political stories will rev up your nervous system. Make a plan to self-regulate so that you don’t collapse under the weight of this world.

To support you, I created a set of free journal prompts about media use and self-regulation to help you figure out what this looks like for yourself at this moment. You can click ​HERE​ to access them. Just remember that you will probably need to adjust your approach to media consumption and self-regulation as your life and the world continue to change.

Find (or create) some community.

While it’s hard to suffer in silence, I believe it’s fundamentally worse to suffer alone. Humans are mammals and need relationships to survive. Seek out some kindred spirits, put your activism in the context of community organizations, and do not go it alone.

This one is often tricky for me as an introvert and an HSP. I need a lot of alone time, but I also need to be with people who get me, to whom I don’t have to explain myself. When I find myself avoiding human contact, I remind myself of how good it feels to be with the right kinds of people, in settings that are a good fit for me.

My Gratitude to the Singularly Sensitive Substack Community

I’ve long envisioned creating a community in a place where I can be more explicitly opinionated and write as a person, not as a psychologist. Substack is proving to be a place where I get that freedom. I’ve only been writing there for a short time, but I already feel connected to other progressive, kind, sensitive people.

I’m so grateful to have found a community here with you!