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Ian Haycroft's avatar

Thank you Lori. Beautifully spoken. This line caught me..."Self-care may feel good for an hour or a night, but acting in alignment with our values builds lasting relief". I could not agree more. To me this is "practice" that guides us to a more compelling awareness of our human condition, its wonders and its tragedies. Thank you for writing on this important topic.

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thanks for sharing your perspective, Ian! Without this awareness of the fullness of our human condition, I don’t see us responding effectively to the challenges ahead.

Nicole Schwartz Navratil's avatar

Thank you 🙏🏻

Rachel Macy Stafford's avatar

"Values-congruent action is the single best thing I’ve seen for sensitive people who are struggling with the state of the world around them. Self-care may feel good for an hour or a night, but acting in alignment with our values builds lasting relief."

This made me cry with relief, Lori. July has left me in a state of despair. But the past two days, I have been finding hope & momentum in doing small acts of kindness in my community. I am finding it's fueling me. Of course, I immediately wondered if I was not doing "enough"... and your beautiful words put that fear to rest. Thank you for writing this piece as well as offering the prompts. I have downloaded them and can't wait to get started.

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

Rachel, thank you for your moving and vulnerable comments! Please try to trust that what you’re doing is enough. If I think about being the recipient of so-called small kindnesses, I recall with gratitude what an outsized impact they’ve had on me. The fear that we aren’t doing enough is a sign of our deep emotions and idealistic minds. In other words, it’s a good sign…but not one that means you actually need to do more. Thank you for all you’re doing in your corner of the world! 🙏🩵

Rachel Macy Stafford's avatar

Oooh I love this additional insight about my deep emotions and idealistic mind! That’s such a positive way to reframe my thinking when my “not doing enough” creeps in. Grateful!

Angie Maher's avatar

Wow! Just wow. I found myself nodding in agreement, in resonance with each bit of your piece, Lori. I found myself (also an introverted HSP, and an empathic/empathetic social justice champion) struggling to write my weekly blog piece on Monday. But then, like the gift it was, the contents of my favorite book came rushing to my mind. And suddenly, what needed to be said, came out. The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse is all about kindness. And that…THAT is where we can start. I believe all other things will either fall away or into place.

Angie Maher's avatar

Also…I live in Southcentral PA. It settles in differently when it hits “home,” doesn’t it?

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

Angie, what a beautiful description of where we can start! Thank you! I agree, we need to begin where we are and hold onto faith, hope, or whatever it is that allows us look to the future and believe it can be better.

And yes, the proximity of all this magnifies it for me, even without being present. It’s easy to imagine the big stories of the world are distant from us. Sadly that’s not the case. Perhaps we need to be shaken out of the illusion that complacency is an option. Sending you positive thoughts, neighbor!

Angie Maher's avatar

And I reflect those positive thoughts back to you, neighbor. ♥️

Liz Cooledge Jenkins's avatar

This is really good. "Self-care may feel good for an hour or a night, but acting in alignment with our values builds lasting relief" - that feels right to me and I'll be thinking about it!

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thanks, Liz! 🙏 I hope you find many ways to deeply take care of yourself.

Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Lori, thanks for this post and your thoughtful suggestions. I for one needed to read it.

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

You’re most welcome, Paulette! This was the redirect I needed, too. 🙏

✨️ Highly Sensitive Woman ✨️'s avatar

Thank you for writing this Lori. How awful that happened so close to you ;( I am not based in the USA but it's been very disconcerting watching (and feeling) this all from afar. Your message is powerful and deserves to be shared. X

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thanks, Andy! I wish this country weren’t a cautionary tale, but that seems to be our trajectory at the moment. Your validation helps! 🙏

Sandra Pawula's avatar

Lori, I strongly resonate with what you've shared in this piece. I used to be a news nerd, but I've stopped reading mainstream media since the attacks against Biden began. It's become too poisonous. Thank you for speaking out. I'll consider what else I can do.

Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

Yes, Sandra, it is poisonous. Thank you for naming that! Letting go of my news nerd ways has been a process since 2016, and I definitely get pulled back if I don’t monitor myself. But I find it’s important to keep adjusting for the sake of my overall health. I hope you find strategies that work for you over the long run! 🙏