Going Solo is a Seductively Misguided Path as a Sensitive Introvert

I've gone down this road too many times

A dear friend of mine hosts a monthly community potluck. My family and I had committed to going this past weekend, and I was really looking forward to it, until a day or two beforehand.

Then the dread set in. New people. Unstructured interactions. Uh, too intense. I wanted to bail.

Do you recognize this pattern? Many of the introverted, sensitive people I know want social connections, but they withdraw from others in an effort to protect themselves.

We choose to go solo because it feels safer and more predictable.

I get it. I’ve made that choice many, many times.

Being alone has a seductive logic: I can barely manage myself, so bringing anyone else into the picture would be too much. I wouldn’t get the support I need; I’d end up doing more for them than for myself. I’d feel overwhelmed by their needs, their emotions, their presence. Better to avoid all that extra drama.

Is this logic protective? Yes.

Misguided? Also yes, especially when life’s challenges and demands are high.

As much as I can get drawn into the story that I can best protect myself by not opening up my life to more people, I’ve learned that it’s a fantasy.

Isolation doesn’t work. Our challenges continue to grow when there isn’t anyone else there to help us stop the internal spin and get grounded.

It helps to be with other people who understand sensitivity and can empathize with our needs.

Anyone who is going to take advantage of our vulnerability, who is indifferent to our needs, or who lacks the ability to practice reciprocity in their relationships is not the right kind of person to surround ourselves with.

But we could take a chance on community and see what happens.

So, if you’re wondering, I went to the potluck. I met some lovely, progressive people. We worked through some of the conversational awkwardness that happens when a bunch of introverts gather. We made plans to connect again. It ended up nurturing my spirit, as well as my body.

When we surround ourselves with people who genuinely respect and care about us, that kind of nurturing is possible. We no longer have to lean on the fantasy that isolation is the only way to get through life’s challenges.

We learn that community is a source of healing and support, not a burden or an additional stressor. Even as sensitive people who are giving to others, we can also receive support in a safe and sustainable way.

If you’re still looking for that group of people who can tempt you out of your isolation and help you experience a reciprocal, safe community, please consider joining my Sensitive Helpers Circle. We kick off on March 19^th, so please be sure to enroll by then.

I’m happy to answer any questions you have about whether this community is the right place for you. Just reach out to me by email to get more information or let me know you’d like to set up a call.

I’d love to welcome you into the Sensitive Helpers Circle. It’s a place where you can overcome your isolation and discover the beauty of receiving support from a group of fellow sensitive souls. Hope to see you there!

Click HERE to learn more and join today!