"Isolation, however, isn’t truly congruent with my values and the roles I’ve chosen to play. Like most people, I draw a fine line between chosen alone time and feeling isolated, lonely, or withdrawn from depression. I want the right amount of alone time, in the forms I choose."
I feel like! And love your thoughts about digger deeper into what we really need when we feel the need for alone time.
Lori, I didn't mean to keep you in suspense. I feel esistance to giving up my alone time to meet my needs in other ways, as you suggest. I'm letting this churn in my mind and am curious about part two as it will likely influence my thoughts further.
Oh, Sandra, I hope I didn’t make you feel defensive, I just meant it as a joke. I apologize for not being clearer. I completely respect that you need to churn this over. I’m not sure how part two will sit with you or influence how you sit with these concepts as a whole. However, I deeply appreciate you sharing your resistance to giving up alone time to meet your needs in other ways. It so important to honor and be curious about those strong feelings.
If you came away with clarity that alone time is your primary need, then respond to that. There may not be some other need. It’s only if we become aware that we do have other unmet needs that we should take a different approach. I’ll be honest, I try to “double dip” as much as possible and attend to my other needs while getting some solitude, too. But if life is such that I can’t get my alone time, it’s helpful to have some other options in mind.
I’m eager to continue the conversation after you read part two. Feel free to comment or DM me.
Lori, Thank you so much for your kind reply. No worries—you didn't trigger a negative state. I think it's healthy to notice my resistance while also being open to hearing the alternatives you present.
I'm looking forward to part two! I'm attached to my alone time, and I get a lot. But maybe there's something new for me to learn in all this. Thanks again for your caring reply.
I can relate to the 'check engine light' analogy. I used to think my constant need for alone time was a sign of depression, but now I realize it was just my way of saying, 'Hey, I need a break!' It's a relief to know I'm not alone in this.
Thank you for sharing that! I’ve definitely defaulted to assuming it was depression and not considering that I could be something else. If there’s depression fueling that desire, too, obviously we need to address that as well. But I find it comforting to think of how many other possibilities exist.
Love this: "My goal is to stay curious about the context in which my desire for alone time arises." So often, I rush to retreat without thinking. To reflect on context adds dimension to an action that is otherwise automatic. Thank you.
"Isolation, however, isn’t truly congruent with my values and the roles I’ve chosen to play. Like most people, I draw a fine line between chosen alone time and feeling isolated, lonely, or withdrawn from depression. I want the right amount of alone time, in the forms I choose."
I feel like! And love your thoughts about digger deeper into what we really need when we feel the need for alone time.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Liz! I hope you can find ways to honor your need for solitude and all your other needs.
Thanks, Lori! And thanks for excusing all the typos, lol. "This" not "like" and "digging" not "digger"! 😅
No worries! 😁 I’m so used to getting cryptic texts from my son and nieces that the typos barely registered. Just happy to hear from you!
🤣❤️
Lori, I'm curious to read part two! I don't want to respond in detail until I see how the two pieces fit together.
Now you're keeping me in suspense, eh? 💕 I appreciate your support, Sandra!
Lori, I didn't mean to keep you in suspense. I feel esistance to giving up my alone time to meet my needs in other ways, as you suggest. I'm letting this churn in my mind and am curious about part two as it will likely influence my thoughts further.
Oh, Sandra, I hope I didn’t make you feel defensive, I just meant it as a joke. I apologize for not being clearer. I completely respect that you need to churn this over. I’m not sure how part two will sit with you or influence how you sit with these concepts as a whole. However, I deeply appreciate you sharing your resistance to giving up alone time to meet your needs in other ways. It so important to honor and be curious about those strong feelings.
If you came away with clarity that alone time is your primary need, then respond to that. There may not be some other need. It’s only if we become aware that we do have other unmet needs that we should take a different approach. I’ll be honest, I try to “double dip” as much as possible and attend to my other needs while getting some solitude, too. But if life is such that I can’t get my alone time, it’s helpful to have some other options in mind.
I’m eager to continue the conversation after you read part two. Feel free to comment or DM me.
Lori, Thank you so much for your kind reply. No worries—you didn't trigger a negative state. I think it's healthy to notice my resistance while also being open to hearing the alternatives you present.
I'm looking forward to part two! I'm attached to my alone time, and I get a lot. But maybe there's something new for me to learn in all this. Thanks again for your caring reply.
I look forward to continuing our conversation, Sandra! ❤️
I can relate to the 'check engine light' analogy. I used to think my constant need for alone time was a sign of depression, but now I realize it was just my way of saying, 'Hey, I need a break!' It's a relief to know I'm not alone in this.
Thank you for sharing that! I’ve definitely defaulted to assuming it was depression and not considering that I could be something else. If there’s depression fueling that desire, too, obviously we need to address that as well. But I find it comforting to think of how many other possibilities exist.
Love this: "My goal is to stay curious about the context in which my desire for alone time arises." So often, I rush to retreat without thinking. To reflect on context adds dimension to an action that is otherwise automatic. Thank you.