17 Comments
Oct 24Liked by Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.

There's so much of this essay that I related to -- My husband and I are also engaged in the work of being neighborly, while holding onto values that are not necessarily shared. It's sometimes challenging. The conversation that you had with your son is a conversation I've had with myself. This is not the easiest of "love your neighbor as yourself" times, but like you, I want to rise to the challenge. I voted my values on the first day of early voting here and now I'm hoping for the best, that we really are the country I think we are. What a wonderful mom and role model you are! Hugs.

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Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing your experience. I hope that the country is filled with people who rise to the occasion to live our potential! 💚

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Oct 24Liked by Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.

Amen to that!!!

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Sep 9Liked by Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.

Being neighborly is hard! Thanks for sharing your heart.

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Hi Lauren! Nice to see you on Substack. :) It's the supposedly simple things in life like being neighborly that are definitely complex and challenge us to dig deep!

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Wow, Lori, this is such a raw and honest look at the challenges we face as neighbors with differing views. I live in a similar community, and I've felt that same sadness when I see a neighbor's sign for a candidate I strongly oppose. It's like a little crack appears in the image of who I thought they were.

Your story about your son is so touching. It reminds me of how kids can cut through the noise and see the core issue: kindness and respect. It's a lesson we adults often forget. Thank you for sharing your journey of navigating these tricky waters. It's given me a lot to think about.

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Thanks, Alex! The idea of the "little crack" appearing in our perception of other people resonates so strongly with me. I really appreciate you sharing your perspective.

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I completely agree and have the same political views. You handled it all very well. I have some family members who love the orange turd. It’s really challenging. I basically had to instill a “no talking about politics or watching the news with me and my kids” rule.

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Thanks, Marina! We have that same rule with some of our extended family. My feeling is that I want to preserve the relationships I have with family and neighbors, even if they aren't relationships where I talk earnestly about politics, religion, etc. I can find those connections elsewhere. So glad to hear from you!

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Lori, A beautiful piece. I appreciate your courage, but equally so your integrity.

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Thanks, Sandra! I'm sure I don't always get it right, but I'm committed to trying.

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Sep 6Liked by Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.

A relatable perspective of living amongst differing views and prioritizing community / neighborliness. I more or less grew up in Texas, and I have encountered all sorts of people. Growing up in a small town and a diverse city, most all have been kind and helpful. And before US politics became this polarized, I learned if they are kind to me and my family, treat us with respect no matter my skin being brown or that my name ignites stereotypes that have been fed, than we interact and engage based on that. Regardless, like your compassionate conversation with our son, we navigate with respect because we have to walk our values as an embodiment versus a reaction.

How people vote on election day does not necessarily align to the day to day values they exhibit with regular people... the perspectives that justify our political beliefs make sense to each person, but very hard for others to make sense of from different shoes.

It's an important example you're setting with your son, and I do wish the pendulum will swing toward shared humanity soon. Thanks Lori.

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Shaista, thank you for sharing your experiences. I wish the pendulum would swing back, too! I think you're right, we can find ways to find common ground when there is respect and kindness on both sides. Wishing you more of that in your slice of the world!

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Sep 9Liked by Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.

And to you as well! You are in an important state, and I can only imagine how much more polarized the drawn lines feel given the stakes.

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Yes indeed, it feels very polarized. But we’re working hard to get a convincing blue win this November. It’s too important to leave to chance!

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Sep 6Liked by Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.

Lori - such a heartfelt and also direct piece of writing. Thank you.

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Thanks, Carol!

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